Under Construction

     Oh, hi! Yeah, we’re open. Come on in. Sorry about the mess; been doing some remodeling. You might want to keep your shoes on…
     The short version? The owner’s personal life signed on as the lead, “Chickpea,” in the independent film Making Hummus, after which he drove a lawnmower across America, mastered the beautiful [yet deadly] art of ballet jiu-jitsu, married conjoined circus performers, wrestled a bear, and spent six months holed up in a cabin in Siberia, drinking cheap vodka and watching strange lights in the night skies.
     OK, yeah, none of that happened. The point is, after more than a year of not saying “boo”, this blog is back. So, you know. Boo.
     Things are going to be a little different. A year ago, I was posting long weekly analyses of individual films, none of which got read by anybody except college professors whose students plagiarized them so they could go back to smoking weed and playing Mario Kart. Going forward, Truth in 24 Frames will feature shorter, more focused essays looking at the filmmakers who have shaped the landscape of cinema. These are the giants on whose shoulders all other filmmakers stand. Because, let’s face it, the rest of us are garden gnomes. Without their help, we’d never see past that flower pot disguised as a wheelbarrow. Ha. Metaphors.
     With each of these geniuses, I want to look at the hallmarks that define their style and suggest practical lessons the rest of us can apply to our own projects so that they maybe suck a little less. Sometimes, we’ll even call into question established facts of film criticism, and even statements directors have made about their own work. Are Kubrick’s films really as cold and emotionless as the HAL 9000? Is Psycho’s shower scene Hitchcock’s greatest montage? Why is John Ford such a big deal? We’ll answer some, all, or none of these questions in the months to follow. Who knows? Maybe this is all a ruse to get film nerds to buy more Trifectura Home Care products. I mean, it totally isn’t, but they’re great.
     Well, I’ve got to get back to cleaning this place up. It’s been nice chatting with you. Stop by again soon. And by the way, if you’re going to be doing some online shopping later, let me recommend the Miracle Micro-Broom from Trifectura(R). This thing is amazing.

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Truth in 24 Frames is © 2018 Ethan R. Friend, and is not affiliated with Trifectura International, its parents or subsidiaries. We’re kind of shocked that you would suggest such a thing.

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